Masturbation sotories

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When you break down masturbation to its basic elements—privacy, a little bit of inspiration, some elbow grease, and hopefully a modest cleanup routine—there's obviously nothing to be embarrassed about. As something of a public service, VICE asked several self-identified self-pleasurers to share their most embarrassing masturbation stories. Because whether or not you consider yourself skilled in the area of dialing the rotary phone, shakin' the bacon, or whatever euphemism you prefer, you probably didn't start out as a masturbatory pro.

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This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week. May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love. Look, we've all been there.

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He has two cats and they were doing their own thing, so I was sitting in the living room and decided to have some personal time. He and I had talked about masturbation around the house before so I didn't feel weird or gross about doing it in his house. Anyways, I am just going at it and all of a sudden I hear an 'ahem

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Masturbation is one of those sex acts most people participate in regularly, but few discuss openly. Read these male and female masturbation stories from real guys and girls who got themselves off in the most epic manner possible. I came literally right as the road cleared up. For some time, nothing came out when I did it, but once I started producing semen, my bed became a really foul place.

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We believe that sharing our experiences is a great way to foster conversation and work towards our goal of destigmatizing sexuality. So, naturally, we asked our community to tell us about their journey to masturbation. I was on the playground climbing a pole and it felt really good!

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We askedand did you ever answer! We learned about the many uses of a teddy bear, the perils of faulty locks and "an excellent way to get rid of undesirable roommates. Grin and Bear It.

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When you settle in for a good old-fashioned solo session, chances are it involves a trusty vibrator, a massaging shower head, or nothing but your fingers and some lube. You probably opt to fantasize about something sexy, or tune in to some choice clips from your favorite erotica to get you going. You know, standard stuff.

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Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a [fapping] hand has come out and taken yours. So read on with that in mind: Every one of these stories is exactly why we, as humans, took over planet earth.

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Update: Want the naughtiest erotica online? This story takes us to a place we wish we had been and ends of an incredible sex high. I bought a sex machine and allowed my boyfriend to control it from across the country via an apphe loved watching me cum through my webcam. It was so thrilling and I was so turned on with him watching me and seeing me cum.

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